I have traditionally been a huge fan of just about every recent World Cup tournament. Ever since 1986, when I pretended to be sick so I could stay home from school to watch Canada play on CBC, I've been been completely hooked. It inspired me to somehow figure out how European football leagues work (what a challenge compared to North American professional sports. Try explaining tournaments during the season, no playoffs, and relegation to your friends.) I couldn't wait until the next one.

I was in high school during WC 90 in Italy and I cheered so hard for mighty Cameroon (and their national hero, Roger Milla) that I almost died. During WC 94 in America, I was in University and all my friends came over to watch all the matches on my patio. The weather was so nice that I dragged our TV outside. Then we walked to our old Elementary School and played our own games (4 on 4) after every match. I don't know how we had the energy. During WC 98 in France, I took all my vacation days at once just so I could sit home and watch every single match. I watched Nigeria go on a famous run deep into the tournament with my favorite Nigerian friend from work. We had a blast and we both shared traumatic heartbreak when they inevitably lost. In 2002, I stayed up all night to watch the matches that took place in Japan and Korea. My neighbourhood was filled with Korean fans and you never heard so much cheering at 4:00AM whenever Korea scored. I bet the police were called a few times. It was very exciting.

Anyway, you get the idea. So it is with deep regret and true sadness that I announce (to myself) that, in 2022, during the very tournament when Canada makes it's triumphant return to the "World's stage" as they so often like to say, I will not be watching too many games. Sure, I will watch all the Canadian matches with my daughters (because I am not a psychopath) but once Canada is eventually bounced out (probably in the first round), I will try my hardest to ignore the rest of the tournament.

You know all the sordid stories. "Many Bothans died to bring you this tournament." Not to mention, there's a cultural revolution going on in Iran right now. And, the last straw, a day before the first kickoff, the government of Qatar (whatever that even means) decided to completely pull the plug on all booze sales in the stadiums, much to the horror of the both tournament's biggest sponsor, Budweiser, and all the newly arrived (and most assuredly alcoholic) International sports fans. Have you ever tried to watch a live Soccer match without beer? It's nearly impossible, to be honest. As a consequence, I wonder if there will be something like riots? I hope not.

A recent tweet sums up the whole shebang as follows... something like:

"Brothers who attempt to sneek booze into the Qatar stadiums will be the ones who are forced to build them for the next one..."

Word. Anyway, here's the final groupings for posterity. It would be great to see if Canada can at least win its first World Cup finals match.

PS. If I break my word and watch way more games, I will alert the media and let everybody know.