I don't know how to write this. I don't know where to start. Today I learned that a very good friend of mine died suddenly last June. I don't know the cause. And I doubt that I ever will. She was 48. A full blown Professor of Psychology. Probably the smartest and kindest person I ever met. And she leaves behind two young children (a boy and a girl), a husband, as well as both her parents. Can you even possibly imagine what it must be like for both parents to outlive their child? I can't and I won't.

But here's the real kicker. She also had a brother. Had. She ioved him a great deal and spoke of him often. Great looking kid. Equally as smart. I met him a few times. He was younger than her by two years. He died in March. How? Under what circumstances? Once again, I'll probably never know. He also leaves behind two young children, a wife, and his aforementioned parents.

I can't think of anything more that's worth saying. Words for events like these are impotent and meaningless. How much time does it take for young children, spouses, parents, and old friends to come to terms with shocking and sudden departures? So permanent and swift. How do you get out of bed? How do you help your children face each new day.

I still talk to my mom and dad as if they are still here. I still look for his emails and packages. Any minute now, I still think he is going to call.

I found out my friend died because i was writing her an overdue email and i was Googling her name. Her obit was the first hit. What a cruel and revolting shock. Like somebody threw an anvil at my windshield before I sped under a highway bridge.

UPDATE - 2022-12-03

Did some additional digging after the shock wore off. I found out that her brother in fact died in 2020. Not 2022 as I had previously believed. Turns out I was reading a memorial for him that was published in 2022. Even so, I am not very relieved to discover this new information. I just wanted my reporting to be as accurate as possible.